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If you Love yourself, You will learn to love your Failures too.

Self Evaluation is a process whereby you see yourself for who you are and aim to identify your own shortcomings. This is by far the most difficult step a person may take but also the most important milestone in the road of self-discovery. To see what mistakes one has made, to face them and then to address them is one of the key steps to self-improvement and self-healing.

In our lives, the more we ignore and hide our failures in our subconscious mind, the more scarring we would do to ourselves. We damage not just our self-confidence but also our self-esteem. In some cases these damages can cause prolonged mental anxiety and physical health issues.


Society, Self-Esteem and Failure

Society is responsible for shaming individuals for their mistakes and their failures. It is designed to do this to keep in check crimes and to ensure people follow with the societal norms. However, more than often societal pressures can result in damaging self-esteems of individuals and eventually how they play a part in the Social Setup.

Bullies with high self esteems rule other peoples lives. People with timid personalities or introverts are shunned. People are constantly reminded of their failures to not just bully them but also control their way of life.

The moment other people can lose their influence or their say in your life is when you start embracing your own failures. When you make a mistake, say you have, come up with a solution and remember it. Learning from mistakes and overcoming your failures are keys to you fighting back for your life. It is what will determine your place in the Social Setup.

No one can hold you down because of the mistakes you made when you tell them that you know you’ve made the mistake. When you tell them that its your mistake and you will deal with it. The moment you gather the energy and the enthusiasm to back your failure with Confidence that you own it. People will have nothing to say anymore to you. They cannot hold you back, cannot control any aspect of your life because they know that you’re in control.

As a cardinal rule the powerful feed on the weak. Your failure is your opportunity. Do not make it your weakness.

Self Esteem and Failure

Self-Concept introduces two broad terms; Self Esteem and Self efficacy. Self Efficacy is how a person perceives his skills against a task he’s assigned. His competence level in his own eyes. Whereas, Self-Esteem is how a person learns to respect himself/herself.

Self-Esteem is often termed as one of the most important determinants of how an individual deals with failures in ones life. People with different Self Concept, Self Esteem and Self Efficacy will deal with failures differently therefore no two people will have the same response to the same failure.

  • People with Low Self-Esteem, always self-pity and almost always give up every time they encounter a problem. They would blame circumstances, they would blame themselves and they would blame their environment for everything thats happened to them. In this blaming they waste more time doing nothing instead of working around solutions. For them each mistake or fault pushes them further back in the self-pity role.

With Family assistance Some may turn around but mostly this has to do with Self-improvement. If a person does not feel that he needs to change he will not be able to get over the constant stress and anxiety he or she faces. Its very important to note that apart from the mental stress, Low Self-esteem can also cause Physical ailments such as blood pressure, dietary/digestion problems, cardiac issues and neurological problems.

  • People with Healthy Self-Esteem, always see the both sides of the coin. They know when they should reject negative influences in their life and not let people’s criticism get the best of them. But they also know how to come out of a problem, see the mistakes they have made and work on solutions.

Overcoming failure is easier for them because they always have their eyes on the bigger picture. They have lesser psychological or physiological problems with healthier lifestyles. They also have higher probabilities of becoming leading agents of change not only where they work but also where they live.

  • People with High Self-Esteem, are almost always bullies. They take other people for granted and push around to get things their way. They never take failures well and almost always are the ones who would topple a board game if they are losing. They can blame this perspective about their lives on how they have been brought up, with over pampering parents succumbing to their every need. A lot of the millennials currently are facing the same difficulties.

They often fail to manage long term relationships or healthy relationships until and unless they are with someone who they can boss around. Failures never happen to them because they never confront their weaknesses. They are hardly receptive to change or critique and this often makes it difficult for them to listen to others. They are difficult leaders because they choose to ignore feedback from their teams.

Maheen Noor Soomro, HR Super Heroine. 10 Years of HR & People Management. Talent Acquisition Ninja Style. A Career & Life Coach. Co-founder & partner at my Entrepreneurial Venture Called Mushawar Consulting, a Business, Technology & HR Consulting Firm. A Staunch Supporter of Women & Youth Development and Empowerment Initiatives. Counseling Students & Professionals. I believe in Helping others Help themselves. You can read more from me at Revitalize & Rise, http://www.maheensoomro.com and Mushawar Consulting or follow me on Facebook & Linkedin to stay updated with the latest trends!

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